Staying Afloat

Maybe I should embrace this situation. It is the life I chose as far as wanting to live away from home. I’ve had some trial and error, fuck ups and screw ups but I am trying my damnest to stay afloat of life’s tidal waves. God is in control. I told Him I was giving my life COMPLETELY over to Him. Is this HIS journey? The path that not many, if any, choose. This is pretty scary and all I’m craving is peace in my life. But I must go through the trenches to reach my true destination and person I want to be in life. I haven’t written like this in forever and instead of blabbering about the present, I’m in the moment searching and learning from the lesson and test in all of this. Boy does God throw surprises at you. My hope is beyond recognition right now. Maybe that’s why it’s so strong because I have so much faith within my heart and staying focused. Attempting to keep any and everything negative and of a headache clear and free from my life. I feel unstoppable. God will deliver me from this situation. I’ve come too far to give up because of any obstacle. I’ve thought about it but I’m staying faithful. God shows mercy and forgiveness when we lose focus and sight. But sometimes it’s nothing bad we’ve done. Many times, it’s only growth and events that happen in life. Some situations we place ourselves in and others are beyond our control. It takes a wise individual and spirit to know the difference. I’ve learned so much in almost 22 years of my life. Been through countless downfalls but I still see a light at the end of the tunnel. Life doesn’t just fall apart. Time is nonexistent. Live. And when it’s too hard to live, think happy thoughts. Sometimes the future just has to unfold.

Receptivity. The anticipation of getting a new job. The anticipation of hearing a verdict. That make it or break it point of your life where you have NO control. Only hope, faith, and patience. The ability to stand and let God and the universe work on your behalf. You can maybe influence the outcome of things with your attitude but not always. Sometimes we as precious and flaw filled humans have to actually… wait, for the future to unfold. Days seem longer when you’re trying to reach a happy or sane destination. Breathe as if everything will be alright. And even if things unfold in a way you didn’t expect, if you know you did all you can, there should be no regrets. Only situations that you can only learn from.

faith-2

Pray and hold on.

Copyright 2013 Ta’Mesha Smith

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My Life is Poetry

My Life is Poetry

Short video of me reciting my poem “My Life is Poetry” !

<3<3<3

Copyright 2013 Ta’Mesha Smith

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Reality and Faith

Lost between my reality and my faith

Sometimes hidden blessings get lost along the way

Difficult and dreadful to put a smile on my face

Looking to God to deliver me from such rage

Sorrow doesn’t last through the entirety of our days 

Copyright 2013 Ta’Mesha Smith

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Love’s Undone

Who cares about the worthless notions you put forward

All in effort to erase the words I would previously record

What me and you had was tragic like I can’t even grasp it

Holding onto the concept of you in my mind

Replaying your voice saying the sweetest things that my heart cannot yet interpret

The look you give me on some days puts me into a quick state of confusion

But then I have to realize and remember you were never really here

And the minuscule energy you forever gave felt like an eternity of lies 

Copyright 2013 Ta’Mesha Smith

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7:25 P.M.

I’m usually never lonely
But there are those days when my sunshine can’t take the pain away
All my laughs and jokes
Showing care to careless folks
Running around playing with the yolks
Because the eggheads don’t get it yet
To be great you have to be the best
Like days when I don’t fit in
Or trying to mesh with other’s bestfriends that don’t quite comprehend my complexities
Now not to sound so worried
Just showing off what’s blurry
My difficulties sometimes bring out the worse in me
Fences all made of steel
Snotty nose and back pain
Like damn , all this heavy lifting is getting to me again
There was a time when I would cry countless tears
Shy away from judgmental ears so they can’t nitpick at me like rats
These nghas chasing down these cats
But see I’m all about personality
On my way to this vow of celibacy
Because I’ve been fucked for way to long
Like I was always out with a smile and a thong
But really looking for acceptance
Or atleast a little understanding
And the reoccurring mishandlings of my good intentions
Do I really see exactly what is around me?
Or am I living in my false presumption , some days pitiful, other days happy , screwed up , scribbled much , far too in depth but brainwashed reality …?

Copyright 2013 Ta’Mesha Smith

Love Spasms

Read my lips slowly so you can interpret every aspect of me. Watching the words roll off my tongue and onto your heart. Pink is within each and every motivation of my body. Love ache spasm triggering every few seconds. And the minutes turn into hours. Could I fall into your love and lie there for an eternity?

Copyright 2013 Ta’Mesha Smith

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Quiet Faces of Jealously

The quiet faces of jealously speaks louder unspoken
With envy stuck in between teeth like the different shades of green
Spinach for its protein to keep hate strong and alive
Surviving through all acts of kindness
And reaching to poor destinations of violence

Insecurity sadly speaks louder than confidence
Although it is overshadowed and overpowered by high volumes of esteem for ones self
Recycled thoughts on replay
There’s no such thing as rewind
And fast forwarding creates unprepared anxiety with time
Look to yourself for all truths

They are within you

Copyright 2013 Ta’Mesha Smith

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What will I choose to posses?

Trials and tribulation from the outside in
Discrete motivation softly spoken to push aside any worries my soul may have

Mother may I grow up to say that life is too weird for me?
How do I decipher between the fact and fiction that hope throws at me?

God speaking to me solely for the purpose of guidance, comfort
Everything

So am I truly without anything?
Because within me I posses any aspect of the world that is is composed of

Copyright 2013 Ta’Mesha Smith

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Love Admires You

Romantically speaking, love is always admiring you. In all of your essential states it sees your heart. These are the misunderstandings that plague the best of us. Love has no image to uphold or standards that make them ungrateful. It is patiently waiting for us to notice it and take advantage of the benefits. Often times it comes with confusion, mislead illusions developed from ignorance and mis-education. Common misrepresentations by our peers and influences.

But what do I know? I’ve only noticed the negative effects from it. The downfalls of what once was. All my love has truly sustained its strength with the injuries I have inflicted upon it. So today it still stands. True love will never fall, fail, plummet, or be destroyed by even the toughest adversities.

Copyright 2013 Ta’Mesha Smith

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