“My journey is MY journey, my passion is MY passion, and my dreams are MY dreams. Why should I care how anyone else feels about that?”- MeshaLeigh
Everyone has a unique road that they must travel on. During my 12th grade year, I was pressured into starting to apply to colleges. Here it was almost winter break and I hadn’t thought about college once that year. Countless classmates would ask me each day where I was applying to and I would give them a blank stare with a quick shake of my head, shamefully spitting out “nowhere”. I felt as though I had no other options and everyone else was going to college, well, then that is where I will go too. I was accepted into three out of three colleges that I had applied for, all of which were out of state (Norfolk State University, Virginia State University, and Florida A&M University). My mother had begged me to apply to schools that were in state because she knew that college wasn’t cheap, I was the one young and naive. Extremely hopeful, but naive.
August quickly approached and instead of heading off to college like all of my friends, I was packing up my car and heading to Atlanta, Georgia to stay with my father. It was already like a second home, two and a half hours away, so it wasn’t a major step for me. Things didn’t go as planned, people fell short of their promises and once again I found myself back in the house for years I was so anxious to get out of. The four walls had again captured me and held me hostage at gun point. I waited months to tell anyone, even my closest friends, that I had moved back. I was ashamed of myself and I felt trapped. I quickly found a new job and started planning again for my escape. My old job was still available but I was ashamed to go back there also. It was a great job, friendly people, family atmosphere and around coworkers there is hardly ever a dull moment. But I was still ashamed and didn’t return until I was finally unsatisfied with my other job.
I used to beat myself down about not being where others were that I graduated with, but I have to remind myself that everything is truly not for everyone and college just wasn’t for me. My dreams, my career, and most importantly motherhood would not be apart of my life in the way that it is now if my experiences would have went another way. Not everyone will understand my reasons for what I do in life or the decisions I make but does that mean I am wrong? Does that mean I am traveling down the wrong path just because it is a road far less traveled and one that I have created for myself? No, it just means that:
“My journey is MY journey, my passion is MY passion, and my dreams are MY dreams. No matter the choices I make that are not understood, I’m the one in control of my life and I choose to do things my way. Parents, society, friends, strangers, they all have their opinions, and everyone has something to say but what do YOU want, and how do YOU want to live your life? You have to live with the choices you make.”
Copyright 2012 Ta’Mesha Smith