I knew starting this blog would open up a new door of life for me. I didn’t know exactly what I was doing, how I was going to do it, or who in the world would actually want to read what I had to say but I still post each day sharing my thoughts hoping I can help someone out there with how they are feeling. As many of you may already know, writing to me is life. As an introvert like myself, I feel no pressure with being a “nerd”, library books graciously stacked up on my desk, and pens and notebooks are always easy to access. There are so many things I want to do with my writing career, the list is limitless. There’s poetry, non-fiction (I am working on my very first self-help book), screenwriting, songwriting, and also adult fiction (my greatest struggle).
There are so many ideas that swirl around in my head each day, it’s so hard to keep up, but I push through trying to get as much on the pages as possible. Adult fiction is my greatest struggle and the fact that I can’t seem to figure out why just fires me up even more to keep writing and try to put the pieces together. Something about a plot, complicated and in depth characters, tiny details, and putting each scene in the correct place just makes my head begin to hurt. But I believe as writers, we each have our very own story to tell, and only we can tell it and get it out to the world. Only we can create that specific picture that we want the readers to see, to understand, and feel.
Writing is an art. Which of course means, we are artists. We create. We dig deep into ourselves, tormenting our brain waves trying to put ideas in their correct spot all while trying to manage our outside world around us. This is not easy, that’s something that is really starting to dawn on me. The perfect picture that I used to have portrayed in my head, while I sip on my tea and imagine all the words flowing on the page with ease… yeah right. On the inside we can be a bit messy with everything out of place but that is apart of the creative process. You have to break things down and analyze them before you can actually work with them.
Poetry is the easiest thing for me to write, because it’s full of emotion and I love playing around with the words trying to see what new combination I can come up with where the words fit perfectly together like a puzzle. And on the other side of the fence, fiction is like an enemy that tries to defeat me even before I get started. That evil monster. Somehow we are constantly magically evolving to be better and more of what we were than the day before. Even with all our antics, we manage to drain ourselves each day just trying to get our voice out to the world, to the page, or even to the universe. In a selfish way, it’s honestly not about who hears us or how they feel about it, but actually getting it out of our heads before we literally go insane.
Copyright 2012 Ta’Mesha Smith