My False Security

I fell pretty deep but I thought my built up ugly security would catch me
I became a low key narcissist so I could frequently resist all the falling in love mess that I had seen on movies
I was drowning in my insecurity and boy did I think love was suppose to catch me
Full blown resuscitation so when he breathes life back into my airspace
I could be captured by his wing span
Take me as his angel and build this partnership that I never knew could exist
It was always easy to be someone I wasn’t by waking up with a new disguise each day knowing that I shouldn’t
Drunk off lust
Who? I knew that I wasn’t
How could I really love someone else when I can’t even love myself
When I can’t even stand the sight of looking in the mirror and my needy eyes looking back at me with a pitiful glare
Trying so hard not to stare but the knot in my throat was being stubborn
No way can I look into your eyes and love what I see
Appreciate what’s been given to me and I can’t appreciate myself
I can really love no one else without truly loving me
But I fell pretty deep and I thought my built up ugly security would catch me

Copyright 2012 Ta’Mesha Smith

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