It would be quite selfish of myself to only speak of happiness when I know what depression feels like. There are many things that I have learned at such a young age and although some of those realizations can only be learned through experience, I love being able to share my story knowing it can help someone else get through what their troubles may be. Whether I’ve already experienced it or we’re going through it together, I want other people to know that there is another side of hurt.
With all the emotion I’ve had, there is a way to shut my heart off and still speak from a place that I know very much so exist. It’s a pain that I will never forget because it’s like riding a bike. Even if my legs were cut off, I still remember the pain of the scrapes and bruises I once had to endure. It’s a pain that I despise because it is filled with confusion and hurt.
I’m not an anti-love advocate or anything of that nature. Being in love is one of the best natural highs in the world but the hurt that us humans sometimes gain from it is just too much to bear at times. I always walk away from love so easily because I need freedom to not feel ways beyond my control. But that is where my key to happiness lies, within myself and not the hearts of others.
Copyright 2012 Ta’Mesha Smith