It’s currently 5:00 p.m. in the afternoon, my Voss bottle to my left, and I’m sitting right in front of the mirror typing. Inspiration truly comes from anywhere. For a second, I tried to get down on myself by honing in on the future for too long. Asking myself questions like, “What are you going to do with your writing?”, “How are you going to provide for your daughter trying to pursue a “dream”?” But I had to quickly look up at myself, smile, and reassure my nervous looking face of what I was doing. I am a writer and what else is there to do but to write. A novel doesn’t write itself, poetry doesn’t write itself, these blog post that I use as a channel to others don’t write themselves either.
Sometimes we get down on ourselves even when we have all the potential in the world. I recently reached a mini accomplishment with my blog, 100 followers! I only started this blog three months ago and I had no idea of what I was doing or why anyone in this world wanted to listen to me but, you guys do. Even though some or even all of you may not understand, you guys listen, and that means so much to me. To know that I have maybe inspired someone to get out of their negative state of mind and shoot towards happiness, or brought a smile to someone’s face with the clarity they’ve been searching for, makes me so happy and fulfilled. It’s always important to focus on your current progress and not dwell on the could, would, and should of your past. We may not always know where we are going, but as long as you write, or paint, or draw, just know that you are going forward.
Pursuing your passion is never about the money, but we all want to make sure that we can and will provide for our family. I believe artists tend to be a bit selfish more than they should but responsibilities still do exist. I understand why some people give up on their dreams in order to have stable income. Or how being artistic just pulls out too much energy and emotion that some days it’s too much to bare and understand. But it’s like a drug, and no matter how far you try to get away from it, it continues to call your name, haunting you peacefully, whispering in your ear to come back.
So, the next time you feel yourself sinking into self pity and worrying about the future, notice the beauty of this moment. You are special, your gift is special, and you are the only one that can create the vision that you want others to see, no one else can do that but YOU. Right now, get up, go look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are going to make it. You will be a best-seller, you will publish your own work, you will accomplish everything in life that you dream of. Try to smile while doing it, it may not be so easy at first, but continue to repeat those positive affirmations and the smile will sneak through, right past all of the negative thoughts that float through your mind and take up extra space. And next time those toxic thoughts begin to surface, push through them, dismiss them, DO NOT acknowledge them and reassure yourself that you are great. You have to be your number one supporter because it’s no one else’s responsibility to do it. Why are you still sitting here?
Copyright 2012 Ta’Mesha Smith