Okay, so, emotions don’t suck completely. They are just sometimes little nuisances that pop up at any moment and you wish would disappear for a while. Although I have tried, there is no way to be completely emotionless or heartless unless someway overnight you transformed into something else other than human. Life is a huge emotional roller coaster Your success with happiness greatly depends on how quick you can bounce back from life’s disappointments. How efficient is that resilience of yours?
It’s difficult to deal with pain when we don’t fully understand the reasons behind why we are feeling like the world is crashing down on us. Having your wounds open for the universe to see, vulnerable, sad, and confused. Those powerful emotions can cause anyone to shut themselves off. But will you still dismiss them if they don’t make the good times worth it? Or what if without being open you lose your inspiration for your art, for your life? How can you truly express yourself if expression hurts with each word you speak? It’s very scary when you reach a point of having nothing left to say. This is the dilemma I face each day.
I got tired of trying to be perfect. Trying to be the best person I can be each new day that I awake, pulling everything out of myself and placing it in a line up. What will I perfect about myself today? I believe you should always strive to be better than the person that you were the day before. Does that make me a coward because I didn’t like the way it was making me feel? Being compassionate, loving everyone, understanding everyone when I’m never understood? Just so much emotion and so much openness that I just couldn’t take anymore. Having to be the one that always has it together.
I still preach happiness because I believe that is the only way to live life. Still counting your blessings and respecting others the way you want to be respected. I now tell myself that it is okay to not have everything together. Life is a journey. You learn new things, new concepts, new ideas each day. We sometimes have some personality and attitude changes adapting to whatever environment we have gotten ourselves in. Survival of the fittest. There is no point in feeling weak when you have the power inside yourself to be strong. It may be some sort of a defense mechanism but you have whatever power inside of yourself that you need. Never let anyone be able to control how you feel about yourself, your life, or life as a whole. Stand up for whatever truth you believe in and protect yourself.
Copyright 2013 Ta’Mesha Smith